I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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