He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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