and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
