using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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