i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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