we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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