that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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