Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
