I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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