dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
