LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
