there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize