she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
