I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
