Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
