remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
