The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Michael Bay diarrhea
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think your dad took our porno
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
