he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
