i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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