you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
