My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So apparently I’m into choking now
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
