What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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