I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
