Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
