I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
