Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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