Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Someone signed my nipple.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
