You're so nebulous sometimes
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
