Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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