As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
