The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
