it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
