Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
