Please, let me fuck your mom
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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