Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
