I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize