this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We talked him into tasing himself.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
