yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
