You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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