Im at strip club and am horny
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
