let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
