you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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