i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
