My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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