The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
