I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
