just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
