It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i think i have herpe
just one?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
