dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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