I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
