We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
