I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
