Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
