she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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