Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize