So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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