scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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