Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
