We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
