sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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