Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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