The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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