I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we're making bets on your personal life
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize