How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
