You work out of a Hotel?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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