problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
