She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
