I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
