oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
