Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
