no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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