Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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