Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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