"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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