the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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