If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
