When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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