I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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