Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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