ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
