the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
