watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I smell like Dick and happiness
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
